6 October 2008: Pécs, Hungary

I woke up at 7:30 and was ready to go a half hour later, which was a good thing because my guess had been right and Janni did in fact pick me up at 8:00.

When Janni showed up he spent the first 15 minutes telling me, presumably, the plan for the day. I say presumably because, of course, I had no idea what he was saying. He started off with some signs for sleep, go, you, and me, but you can't really make signs for work, clean, or anything else that might have told me what was going to happen that day. So I just nodded. A lot.

The problem, you see, is that he had been speaking Spanish or Italian I could have figured it out. And if he had been speaking French, German, or Portuguese, I probably could have had a general idea. But I honestly didn'even know that Hungarian was a language before I got to Budapest-- Hungarians don't just speak Russian?-- and everyone has told me that it is one of the most difficult languages in the world to learn. Or to understand.

(Everyone also told me that the Hungarian language has the closest ties to Finnish and Chinese, two countries nowhere even close to Hungary. And while, yes, I had a layover in the Helsinki airport once, I've never spent a day of my life in China.)

Anyway, Janni left the house after he finished talking to me and I followed him into the car. He pulled out of the driveway and drove to a flea market that was no more than 500 meters away on the same street.

He stopped the car and said something incomprehensible. Then he pointed to his watch, held up nine fingers, and gave me another 1000ft. I waited for about 30 seconds, and when nothing else happened I opened the door and slowly got out of the car. Then I slowly closed the door. And then he drove away.

Now, I have no idea where Janni went the previous night or what he did, and I'll probably never know. But I'm OK with that. It's not that I don't want to know, it's just more fun not having any clue.

But the thing is, whatever "job" Janni had planned on me doing, I had a feeling like he had already taken care of it. And now he was just giving me hush money.

So I waited around for another hour-- another hour, like the entire night before, that I could have left, but the same rules from the previous afternoon applied-- and, true to his word, Janni was back at 9:00 to pick me up.

I got back into the car and we drove in complete silence to a house. He gave me a motion to stay in the car and got out to talk to them for a few minutes. Then he was back in the car and we were on our way. Just like that.

We drove to another house, but during this ride Janni had put on techno music. Whether or not it was his intention to put me into a trance, it was working. Probably not the best thing for a person in my situation, agreed?

When we got to this house, Janni again got out but this time he didn't give me the sign to stay in the car. I got out and Janni handed me a car-seat for a child. I followed him inside, put down the car-seat, and then followed him back outside and into the car. Just like that.

During this ride, though, I decided it was time to get some answers, since I was very curious about the work I would be doing. I tried to ask him, making the signs for wax on-wax off, sweeping the floor, and wielding a pick-axe, but he didn't understand me. And I guess I'm not a good enough actor.

It's important to note here that, of course, neither Janni could venture even a guess as to what the other person was saying. Not even a guess. The only difference between the two of us, then, was that when I couldn't understand Janni I would just smile and now. And when Janni couldn't understand me he would shake his head and frown.

But hey, that's just me. Good ol' Zach, the eternal optimist.

This ride was to the restaurant, and when we got inside Janni made a phone call and handed me the phone. It was Szados from the previous afternoon. So now I could finally get some answers.

First of all, Szados told me that the house I had stayed at the night before was Janni's guest house. But it was being rented out to a German couple starting that night, so I couldn't stay there again. I wasn't exactly broken up about that.

Second, in regards to the work I was going to do for Janni, Szados told me "There is a slight problem with communication." Wow, really? I had no idea.

(You really have to hand it to Szados for his comedic use of understatment.)

Anyway, Szados said that I wouldn't be able to work for Janni because there was no way for him to give me instructions. I probably could have told him this the day before, to be honest. And Janni thought it would take too much time for me to learn what to do from watching him do it first. You know, on account of how tricky it can be to observe someone washing a table and then successfully mimmick them.

So Szados asked me where I needed to get back, and I told him Pecs and handed the phone back to Janni. The next thing I knew Janni and I were driving to the train station, where my benevolent employer bought my bus ticket and handed me yet another 1000ft. Putting me at 5000ft, two delicious meals, and my own house for a night-- without even lifting a finger.

(Oh, and if you think I was even the least bit surprised that this happened, all you need to know is that I only brought two things with me to Villany. One was my camera. The other was my toothbrush.)

The train back to Pécs took longer than the bus, although I´m not sure why, and was unbelievably old-school. The inside looked exactly like the interior of a school bus and every chair had its own ashtray-- since 90% of the Hungarian population smokes, a no-smoking car on a train is a virtual impossibility.

When I got back to Tomi's place, he was visibly relieved. He thought I had gone to Sellye the night before, not Villány, and so when I didn't come home he thought I had been kidnapped by gypsies and almost called the police. How sweet to be so concerned, yes?

I called Beata, who said she had expected me the previous night. I was unaware that there was a deadline on the couch, but asked her if I could still crash there that night. She said sure and told me to meet her at the bar at 10:30.

At this point, I went to the deep-freezer and was disappointed to realize that I had completely cleared it out. I mean, entirely. To make up for this-- since I did feel pretty bad about it-- I cleaned all the dishes and pots. Don't let it be said that I'm ungrateful.

Since I was still hungry, though, I bought a cheesy hot dog at the local bakery. I don't know what possessed me to get it-- nor do I know what a bakery is doing selling cheesy hot dogs-- but it may have been the worst food I had in all of Hungary, if not Ireland too. But hey, I had had enough delicious, unhealthy food that week to make up for all the nondelicious, unhealthy food I would continue to eat.

After eating I went to the bar to meet Beata, who was with four friends and who said that we would stay for a drink and then leave. I was in no mood to go home and wanted to stay out, but it ended up not being a concern. 3 beers and 2 shots later, then, we were on our way home.

(Incidentally, now that I was loaded I bought my first round in Hungary-- a round of unicum, the Hungarian Jaeger, although by this point it was just three of us. It put me out an entire 870ft, otherwise known as $2 each. Pricey.)

Not a whole lot was happening at the bar, but at one point I asked Beata if she wanted to travel with me, since she had expressed an interest in seeing other parts of Europe. Her response was "Hungarians are not as free as you." I don't know if she meant Americans or me in particular, but that certainly does describe how I'm feeling on this trip.

(Also, her friend was a clone of Maude Lebowski's friend. The one who can't stop laughing. A perfect clone.)

When we left the bar, Beata and I walked home and watched a movie for a bit, and I'm pretty sure not one of us said a word the entire time. And that was that.

Now, maybe you've noticed that I hadn't fallen in love in Hungary up to this point. That was completely inadvertant, but I think I might be able to finally say that I fell in love with Beate/Beata. Beate was close in Budapest, but not quite there, so I think the combination of the two are it. Beatea, with whom I fell in love for the fifth time.